It Made Sense at the Time

“Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.” 

~ Robert Frost

My father lived with Parkinson’s disease for many years. Most people know about the tremors that accompany Parkinson’s, but a lot of people are unaware of the hallucinations that can occur, either as a side-effect of medication or as a symptom of the disease. My dad was the unlucky winner of virtually every possible Parkinson’s symptom and he also developed Lewy body dementia with hallucinations.

Being the caretaker of someone with a debilitating illness is not for the faint of heart. My mother shouldered the responsibility with almost no outside help, like the strong, independent woman she is. But it wasn’t easy. The tremors were simple enough to understand. The hallucinations and dementia were more trying.

One day, my mom discovered that the crystal dish holding strawberry candies on an end table was also holding a mysterious clear liquid. They were the kind of candy that is hard on the outside, soft on the inside, and wrapped to look like little strawberries in a psychedelic dream. My mom questioned my dad about the soggy strawberry-flavored sweets.

The explanation was simple. My father, seeing the fiery red foil wrappers, had thought the

candy dish had flames leaping out of it. And, so, in an act of heroism, he had dumped his full glass of Sprite all over the perceived fire. 

My mother was completely baffled. She wondered, “Who in their right mind would dump Sprite in a candy dish?” At the moment, it didn’t matter that when he had done it, my dad hadn’t been in his right mind! She couldn’t understand what he had been thinking. 

For days, she shook her head in disbelief. Who ever heard of a candy dish spontaneously combusting? And if one did spontaneously combust, who would put it out with Sprite? Um, my father for one!

Finally, I remember saying, “Given what he thought was happening at the time, he made a perfectly logical decision. He saw what he believed to be a fiery candy dish and he doused it with the closest available liquid. If there had been a fire, he would have saved the day!”

That insight probably did little to help my mother, who just needed to vent. But it helped me tremendously! How many times have I made decisions based on faulty perceptions? How many times have those decisions left others shaking their heads? The world may never know! But it’s at least eleventy-hundred and two. 

I had a choice. I could beat myself up for every time I had dumped metaphorical lemon-lime soda on a crystal dish of foil-wrapped strawberry candy, or I could accept that those decisions made sense at the time. You can do the same.